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Sacrifice

Love is not an emotion; love is action – to put their happiness ahead of your own; to sacrifice

Sacrifice celebrates the courage that love sparks to fuel and foster forgiveness, liberating us from deep trauma

Coming Soon

They say there is nothing greater in life than to love and be loved, but they don't explain why. This true love story illustrates that the softest path to healing ourselves is when we are in reciprocated love for that's when we feel safe, we can tap into courage and be brave enough to expose, examine and tackle the obstacles to inner peace.

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He was kidnapped at age 4, and forced into a boarding school for Indigenous children, hundreds of miles away from his home in Tulsa. He, his brothers and many others suffered horrific abuses at that school. Years later, WWII recruiters swept these schools for volunteers, and he did not hesitate to join the US Navy. Although he was 16, he just had to say he was 17 to enlist, for there were no records; it was the first school, which had their henchmen kidnap children, that had those records, and the kids burned it down when he was 6.

Like many boarding schools sanctioned by the Bureau of Indian Affairs ("BIA"), the first school was a self-sufficient farm. The children were forced to work it, and hardly any time remained for education. The schools received monthly checks from the BIA for each native child they kept – that was the racket: securing monthly checks per child while they incurred no expenses, and they would go to criminal extremes to keep their revenue stream. There was no concern for the children nor for their futures; they were cash livestock. Regardless of the fact that our government enabled many gross abuses of Native Americans throughout history, my father forgave them and jumped at the opportunity to prove his patriotism and love for the people and our country.

Recruiting indigenous men was a boon for the US military, as most were well-developed farmhands. This was in stark contrast to many young non-indigenous American men whom tried to volunteer. A quarter of the Causasian recruits were deemed unfit due to their physical limitations from malnourishment, whereas nearly every native recruit was accepted. 99 percent of all healthy Indigenous men from age 21 to 44 had registered for the draft in 1942. My father often lamented how the military was his salvation.

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She and her family fled Hiroshima by train when she was 7, soon after the pamphlets rained down – a harbinger of how the radioactive ash would fall in the days to come. It was the last time she saw her father; their train was attacked by Allied forces and had derailed.

I only learned of this story from when her oncologist inquired about some odd, old scars that he noticed across her ribs; this was about a year before she died of a rare type of leukemia, in which they suspected was caused by radiation exposure – that's when she mesmerized us as she recounted the first time she had candy:

She was shot and crying. Her mother could not quiet her and all were in fear that the Allies may return. An older man gave her candy, and she said she never tasted anything so sweet and fruity – like a dozen juicy tangerines all at once – and it did the trick; she stopped crying. Remarkably, she was able to tap into that one happy moment among all the grief – just after the last sight of her father, and only weeks before her mother and oldest sister perished from exposure to the fallout for they went back to search for her father and to try to help others that could not leave the city. My mother humbled us, and for a long time, we could only stand there, shocked in reverence. You could hear a pin drop in that cold, sterile exam room. She closed her eyes, smiling as she recounted her story, still recalling and relishing the taste of her first piece of candy, all while the world was about to end.

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After two short marriages that were annulled, he had given up on relationships. Now enlisted in the US Air Force, which became a separate military branch after WWII, he was stationed in Japan. His friend was trying to get him to agree to a blind double-date for days, and finally my father agreed with terms; he had never dated anyone outside of his Caucasian race – he would insist that he's Caucasian as he was desperate to separate himself from those awful abusive days in boarding school, where his only crime was being Cherokee; being that he was half Caucasian, the claim was somewhat believable. As he waits with his friend for their dates, he jokingly upped the payback that he'd need – it's now four packs of cigarettes: double the original. Then he saw her, and the world stopped.

She was the most stunningly beautiful woman he had ever seen. He realized that his mouth was agape, as he was just staring at her, frozen with the cigarette poised near his mouth, and he was suddenly, thoroughly embarrassed. He never felt so awkward and bashful, but he snapped out of it when he looked at his friend; oddly, he felt a stab of jealousy as his friend was also taken aback by this seemingly flawless Asian doll. He couldn't imagine anyone more beautiful, and slowly began to realize that this must be love at first sight, about which he'd tease and mock whomever confessed such ridiculousness. In that moment, he knew he would love her for the rest of his life.

She spoke no English, but her friend translated for them. She was greatly enjoying this wonderful distraction from her sorrows – she was arranged to marry a wealthy businessman, but he made her skin crawl. It was 1957. My mother was 20 and my father was 32 and thriving in his military career. That night, at the NCO Club on their first date, he asked her to marry him. She rejected the proposal, but there was something irresistible about him; she agreed to see him the next evening. They saw each other every day for the next week, and she let herself fall in love with him too. She never thought she could ever feel so carefree and be so happy. She agreed to marriage. She was resolute in accepting whatever her family may say. When she told them, they were devastated, and immediately disowned her – as she had feared they would do. They could not believe she would ever consider marrying an American GI.

It didn't matter to her much, as she was furious with them for agreeing and arranging to give her away to such a lecherous man, regardless of his stature in Japan, but more importantly, she was very much in love with my father and now dreamed of marrying him. They then learned of the US Military policy for marrying Japanese women that discouraged and effectively imposed a one year wait, in order to meet all the requirements of both US and Japanese background checks, and also for approvals from commanding officers. They had thought they could elope – as many GI's did with Caucasian wives, but racism was rife as interracial marriages were still illegal in the US. Pearl Harbor continued to be a battle-cry and scapegoat for hateful treatment and attitudes towards anyone of Japanese descent, and our military branches were not immune to bigotry. He was set for an assignment in the Philippines and had less than two months remaining in Japan. My mother was effectively homeless.

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My father was a highly decorated veteran. He volunteered for duty in WWII, Korea and two tours in Vietnam - where he received a purple heart. Even after losing her parents and nearly starving with having only raison rations for over a year, my mother did not succumb to overwhelming despair. Never could she have imagined that the Imperial Family – the oldest family monarchy in the world – would bow to gaijin. Prior to the reconstruction following WWII, there was no ability for a woman to survive in Japan without a husband or family, as there was no charity for anyone disowned by their family. She lauded MacArthur, studied our constitution, and marveled at the progress democracy rapidly ushered, instead of the stagnation that seemed to mire cultures steeped in traditions. She longed to call herself an American Citizen. Because of their love for each other, they were fearless together and lead a remarkable life. My mother realized her dream and further contributed to our country with two more souls for the next generation's pursuit of a more perfect Union.


"A good life is like a great Russion novel: there will be joyous highs, tragic lows and everything in-between."Dave McElfresh

May you have a good life

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Sacrifice By Jobu

Rev. 5/2/2024